51

I wonder what the people passing by are thinking when they see me at the midnight,
the last of summer breeze grabbing the hems of my white skirt when i stand
on the windowsill of my own window,
trying to climb down on the roof.

50

Today was the first day of autumn.
I was awoken by a silent thunder and for the first time in months I didn't open the window because I had to - I opened it because wanted to.
The sky was grey and I brewed a cup of tea, smiling, and waited for the first autumn rain.
I wasn't disappointed when it finally arrived.

52

Stuff I wanted to say but didn't, in and out of context

"Fuck it."

"No. Stop thinking about that. We are young. We are supposed to be happy."

"Shut up, like you knew."

"I really don't want to see you today. I don't feel like being a daughter today."

"I don't think you deserve him."

"Dying."

"I love you."

"I know you hang out with me just because you pity me"

"Stop using me."

"I love you like sea loves the shore"

48

Pictures of a head on my lap, connected to a body, of course. And it makes me feel giddy.

49

sleep next to me from i was a on 8tracks Radio.

I worked with this for months to make it perfect. I was supposed to say "It just happened." But it's a big lie.

46

Everyone is telling me how good this summer was, and how their dreams came true and I realized that I'm late from my schedule.

47

I want you with your nigh terrors and your fears, with your imperfections and your issues with them.
(I want to wake up, warm and content, with you - messy hair and all  - sleeping next to me)